It takes so long but happens too fast

We have been taking about moving from suburbia to the country for about 4 years now. I guess right around the time my parents moved to Oregon. It was always part of the master plan. However, every year something would come up to prevent us from making the leap. In most cases, it was another pregnancy. I had intended to stop at 3 kids. Obviously, that didn't happen. Let me reiterate, Yes, I do know how they are made. I think I'm just one of those people that, my husband looks at me sideways and I've been implanted. Don't get me wrong, I love having 5 kids. It's an enormous amount of work but its worth it. When I found out I was preggers with number 4...I became very depressed. The day I met that little guy, I felt like I had been such a big selfish jerk. He was beautiful and I was beyond blessed. By the time the news that number 5 way on his way, I was almost indifferent. Ok, I guess were doing this again. Number 5 is @ 9mo. now. He's awesome and a great addition to the family. Am I done? I don't know. People ask me that all the time. I was "done" at 3. Sometimes life's plan for us is bigger than we can even imagine. I will tell you the precautions I take now are bigger... better.. stronger.  5 is a lot. I'm good with 5.
A friend recently told us he thought we were crazy for making this move. The thought sat with me for the rest of the night. Are we? Are we doing the right thing? Is it insane to give up an income and health insurance when you have five kids? I came to the conclusion that yes, it probably is. Its probably not the most responsible thing to do. Its not the safest most secure thing to do. To be totally honest, I am terrified! I have received a positive response to the blog so far, many people admire our "balls". It is not lack of fear that makes this possible. Fear is an ever real and present danger. At least 2-3 times a day I think we should back out. I'm not an idiot. I know how risky this is. My mind races with all the negative scenarios that could happen. We have a good life...why rock the boat?  On the other hand, my deepest fear is that I never try. I fear looking back at my life and wishing for what could have been. Today, I will be brave. To be brave is not to be without fear, but to do be, in spite of fear.