A Party to Remember....

I wish I could fast forward today and just have it be over already. This is probably awful to say but I'm just keeping it real. We are throwing #3 his 4th birthday party in the backyard. As usual, I went a little pintrest crazy. I'm not really sure why I do this. Part of me loves it, I love the adorable crafty ideas. I love creative food. The lazy antisocial part of me hates it. By the time the party arrives, Im so over it, I wanna drink myself into enjoyment or take a zanax. It doesn't help that my husband hates when I get all "party crazy". He would be happy with some pizzas, juice boxes, and beer. I suppose that would be easier. I wouldn't have to work myself up into such a stress case. This will be the last kids birthday party we throw in this house. The thought makes me want to cry, or maybe I want to cry because I'm exhausted. On the deepest level, I am so grateful to be out of the party business. Once again, Im not sure what Im teaching my kids. Overindulgence is awesome, that should play out well in their collage years. Its ok to waste? Waste water! Waste food! Waste paper! It really doesn't follow the values, I try to instill on any other day. I'm sure all of you have cleaned up half drank water bottle, or even water bottles missing only one sip, after a party. Cleared plates full of food. I am grumpy this morning so my outlook is less than positive. I hope one day my sweet son will look back at picture from todays party and realize how hard mommy worked to make him happy. Who am I kidding,  he'd have to look at pictures, cuz he's freakin 4. He wont remember any of it. So who am I doing this for? Myself? Its sure not good for my relationship. You should see my husband and I on party day. What I really need from him is to do everything I say, when I say it. For some reason he has an issue with that? Can you imagine? Arg! The nerve! Truth be told, today will be wonderful. Everybody will have a great time. Like I said, I just wish it was over already!