A short fuse!

In the interest of keeping it real, I'm burnt. Ive run out of patience. I need a refueling desperately. It's to the point that even the sound of my children's voice is driving me nuts. I'm quick to snap. Stick a fork in me....I'm done. I made it pretty damn far though...going on 8weeks alone in the forest with 5 kids. My sister came for a quick visit this weekend. It was really nice. The company hit me hard on how very lonely I am. However, I am way more ok with being alone than I thought Id be. She awarded me high praises. Even though she too has read the blog, it was eye-opening to her how much I had taken on and where. Yep, it's the middle of nowhere! My sister is a pretty damn successful business owner. There are times, I'm jealous. Traveling! Freedom! I did have an "Ah Ha" moment, as Oprah would call it. If I would have put the same amount of energy I put into having a family into anything else, I would have been pretty damn successful too. I choose to have my energy go into having and raising 5 children. It is an accomplishment, one that I'm proud of. Yes, its different but by no means less.
 My husband should finally be here next weekend. I told him I'm not gonna cook for a whole month. One of the biggest conveniences I miss is food. I always thought we didn't eat out much...but there is something to be said for a quick pizza after a long day. None of that here. Our San Diego house is in Escrow. Our last offer fell through at the last minute. This one is 40,000 less. Can you spell desperate? When I think about it, I do get upset. I'm trying to let it go. This isn't about money, its about changing our lifestyle. Though we could use the fuckin money. If I could go back we would have done this very differently. We are digging deep in empty pockets. It's painful. Giving up comfort, convenience, and cash are all part of the deal...doesn't mean it's easy.  I do have some farming news...we are getting a small chicken coop tomorrow. Ive gotten the taste for farm fresh eggs and I want more. They are so much better!
 Ive gotten some feedback that comments have been lost here. I just want to say: Thank you so much to all that read this. If you want to leave a comment do so through or on the FB page. I love love love comments, questions or feedback!