Forget Prozac I just need trees.

Taking medication is not something I openly discuss with people. It has been a part of my life for a long time. My childhood was abusive. I went through a lot as a teenager. My emotions just never seemed to be manageable. Its a big reason why I would self-medicate. As I've grown up, through parenting, I'm pretty even tempered. These days, I take my Prozac. We have only been here for a few days but I'm beginning to think that the life I lived perpetuated the use of mood stabilizers. It has been extremely interesting here. We are very isolated. There is no TV, no phone, no internet. It is calm and super quiet. It's so quiet then when I yell for the kids, it echos across the whole yard. The drive to civilization is a curvy road covered in trees. I find myself just smiling. There have been so many deer. I know I wont always get this excited when I see them but right now its amazing. Maybe with a simpler life I wont need anything to "stabilize" my mood. Life in San Diego was always hectic, we were always on the go. I'm beginning to think the stress was self created, the emotions on overload, all because I was just doing too much, and way way too overstimulated. It is really nice here. It feels good. We all feel good. The only thing missing is the husband. We have not accepted an offer on the home in SD. Until that time he has to remain behind. I really miss him. He will feel the peace here too. I think it will be easy to escape the grumpiness, we are running away from. Yesterday we went to a garage sale and I chatted it up with a local mom. She invited us to a playgroup on Wednesday. Also, mentioned the kids are welcome to come over and play with her 3 litters of piglets. The people here are pretty darn nice. I have a lot on my plate, homeschool starts in a little over a week. I have a lot to set up. We wont be getting internet until next week. It is almost nice with out it, I'm sure that will wear off, plus we need it. My youngest sons are pretty sick. I took #5 to the urgent care Friday, he has a double ear infection and phenomena. Now, it sounds like #4 is almost as bad. We have had some rough nights in the sleep department. In the scheme of things, I feel like a badass. I'm handling these 5 kids, unpacking, in the forest by myself. I am feeling great. Forget Prozac, all I need is all these trees....and my kids of course...and my hubby...oh and chocolate...and my parents....and animals...my friends. Well, maybe its more than just trees, but whatever the key to happiness is, I think I'm headed in the right direction!!!