Elaborate children's birthday parties- What's the point?

Yesterday we celebrated my daughter's 8th birthday. It was a Frozen themed party. I went all out, as I usually do. Themed snacks, great food, games, and decorations. It became apparent about 5 minutes into the party that no one was going to show up. I was heartbroken. I had worked so hard. The cupcakes were adorable. I made 20 of them. Plus the food, so much food. I was super nervous to tell my daughter, no other children would be at her party besides her siblings. She actually took it rather well. There were a few points during the day, I could see she was sad. My parents and sister were here. We all made an enormous effort to be fun. We all paid special attention to her. When it came time to play pin the nose on the Olaf, we all took a turn. It was really fun.

It got me thinking about the purpose of these elaborate birthday parties. Did I do them for my children? Where they for me? Where they for the guests?  I know I want my child to have an amazing time and feel special. Am I setting a standard of over indulgence? What about expectations? Am I teaching them to have huge expectations? It occurred to me that at a typical party, I would've spent a majority of the time making rounds. Normally, I would have very little interaction with the birthday child. We would cross paths at cake and gift time. Otherwise we were hanging out with our own friends. Though there was an air of disappointment in the lack of guests, something special bloomed in our family. Our family played together. Our family jumped on the trampoline. Our family laughed and stuffed our faces with treats.

I have another birthday coming up for #3 in a month. What will I do? Go out of my way to make an over the top celebration when it is very likely it will only be our family again. Damn straight! That is exactly what I will do. It is not easy being a sibling of so many. A birthday celebration makes my babies happy. Each one gets a special day full of over indulgence and love.

Disappointment is a part of life. Learning to set realistic expectations is important. However, the biggest lesson of yesterday is that love and support is the best gift we have to give.

Change is never easy but sometimes it's the best thing.

I have had a few realizations recently and thought Id share.  We were terrified to make this move. It was incredibly difficult to give up our good income, owning a home in Southern California, our health insurance, and our friends and family. For me, it was all about my children. What did I think was best for them. San Diego can be a bit superficial, I didn't want them to have that pressure. Daddy was overworked and grumpy.  I wanted to stay married. I want my children to have both parents. Involved and active. I felt our lives were filled with distractions. I want our children to be the main focus. Not their activities, parties, or homework. Them...the actual people they were becoming.
We didn't know what moving would do to our family. We took a huge risk. I believe it has really paid off. One thing we have given ourselves is time. Time is so precious and really hard to come by. Our days here seem filled with so many more hours. Hours to cook and cuddle. Time to garden and play. I feel very connected to my children and husband. By freeing up so much time we have reduced our stress considerably. Caring for 5 children is hectic regardless but when you add constant activities and rushing, it can be overwhelming. I wish I could pinpoint all that has changed. I feel like my life is so much more manageable. Daddy is present and involved. I am rested and engaged. Our children are so happy. Things have worked out. Finances. Health Insurance. Fear kept us from making the changes we longed for. Now that we have settled into our new lifestyle, I feel more and more that we have made the best decision for our family.

Dear Toddler,

To my Dearest Toddler,
          Thank you so much for always being so enthusiastic when you see me. It makes feel special. It makes me feel loved. I love the way you grasp my finger to take me with you. When you get ahead, you look back over your shoulder often to make sure I'm still following. You have learned my trick, sometimes I guide you to a distraction just so I can turn and run the other way. You are so smart. Its just that it can be hard to fold laundry when you find it so fun to lay in the clothes. It can be difficult sweeping the floor when you dance in the pile. It is also not easy to unload the dishwasher when you climb on the door to jump up and down. Sometimes, you even try to grab a knife and run away with it. Aren't you cute? Don't worry, I'm right here. I won't go too far. I'll finish that chore and be right back. It helps me move a lot faster having you repeat "mommy, mommy. mommy" at the door. Your sweet tiny voice melts my heart. You won't always call me Mommy. You can and will say it 1000 times today. Just don't cry. Don't fill with sadness or stress or fear. Don't worry, everything is ok. When I sooth your tears away, I soak up the way you hold onto me. Like I matter. Like I am the only one who can fix it. Don't worry, I will. If I can, I will. You clutch onto me with fingers and hands and feet and toes...like a little monkey. I treasure that hold. You need me. I need you. One of your new favorite things to do is smack me in the face or pull my hair. I'm not a fan of this game but you think it is hilarious. I am also not a fan of how you turn into a gymnast when I'm trying to change your diaper. Of course, you also think that is hilarious. It's ok, I won't change your diapers forever. I love the little conversations we have. You understand everything I'm saying. You reply in wonderfully long sentences. In which maybe I understand two words. It's adorable. You are adorable. I love the way you start laughing when everybody else is laughing, you don't get it but you want to be involved. Your laugh is amazing. Your smile is so stinkin cute and contagious.
Today, you used my lavender lotion to paint on the window. It was beautiful. Even better, you smell delicious. It makes squishing your cheeks and kissing your neck extra fun. Your timing is excellent. Of course, you had just gotten out of the bath. That's ok, we'll do it again tomorrow. All of it. Thank God! Please don't grow up too fast little person. This is a time I'll always cherish.
                                                                                            Love, Mommy
P.S. Thank you for all your mmmmmm long kisses and knee hugs!

Biopsy results are in and I'm feeling good!!!

The "growths" were found to be free from cancer. Whoo hoo!!! I feel a bit guilty celebrating when I know other have faced the agonizing wait for results, yet they did not receive such happy news. I went to bed early last night because the anxiety was eating me alive. However, I was late for my appointment this morning because I had remembered the time incorrectly. When they said they couldn't see me again until Thursday I freaked out a little. The receptionist told me the Dr. was in surgery until after 3. I told her I would return then and wait in the lobby until he saw me. There was no way I was going home to plex for the next 3 days. No Thanks! Anyway, I was seen at about 4pm and told the good news. I hadn't realized how worried I was until I almost didn't get an answer today. I still haven't felt great but at least now I know cancer is not the problem.  Thank you to everyone that prayed for me, did diamoku, or sent love and positive energy my way. I appreciate it! Now, it's time to focus back on the farm!