Thought I'd share a few things I have learned having five kids. Some ideas may seem obvious but others didn't set in for me until well into life with 5 kids.
1. Relax- Being stressed out just sets a stressed out example for your kids. They will learn quickly to stress and do it often. Show them how to calm down, relax, and enjoy life. Stress is a part of life but it doesn't have to be the main event. When stress is legit, try to give examples of good stress management. It's ok to tell the kids you need a break. Take a bath. Go for a run. Scream in your pillow. Even have a cocktail, as long as its not the only example you give.
2. Let it go. It can't all be done. Point, blank, period. Its not possible to make every party or event. It is so overwhelming to try to get every chore done. They just start right over so why fret? Set aside a certain amount of time to clean everyday and do what you can. Balance responsibilities with fun. Accomplish with out overdoing it. Prioritize. Good moms have laundry piles, sticky floors, and happy kids.
3. Pick your battles. Most children are pretty much constant button pushers. It takes a lot of repetition and consistency. There has to be a little give and take between you and the kids. Stick to your guns on the big stuff but let up a little on the little things. It gives kids a sense of self and accomplishment. I am finding this exceptionally true as I begin to raise a teenager. She wants to feel independent and I need her to follow the rules. A little compromise goes along way in building a strong relationship.
4. When in doubt- Play! Overwhelmed? Tired? Stressed? Drop it all....sit on the floor...grab a doll....or some play dough and just play. Be present! Soak up that amazing light that is your child! Even if it's just for 10 minutes. It will make you both feel so much better! I swear!
5. Acces the danger. How hurt could they actually get? If the outome may be a scratch on the knee or a bump....ride it out. Scars build character. The world is a hard place and you cant keep your kids in a bubble. Let them learn to cope with the small stuff...it's good practice for life's bigger boo-boos.
6. Push the limits of your comfort zone. Hate bugs? Pretend to love them. Dislike pickles? At least let your kids try them. Don't let your fear or anxieties shape your children's.
7. Don't sweat the small stuff. There are a lot of little trails in child raising. Cut yourself and your child a break. In the scheme of things...most of it's not a big deal! Accidents, mistakes, forgetfulness....It's gonna happen. Go with the flow. Focus on the positive! Save the worry for deserving issues. Finding out your baby has cancer, now that is something to freak out about. They forgot their lunch box or the car got a flat...not a biggie. Put things in perspective! Teach your kids reasonable emotional reactions!
9. Accept. Accept yourself. Accept them. Accept the mess. Accept you will be late on occasion. Accept stains. Accept spills. Accept lack of sleep. The more you accept that these things will happen the easier your life will be.
10. Be prepared-Expect the unexpected. Bring juice boxes. emergency lollipops. snacks, change of cloths, first aid kit, or cash. Things can change pretty quickly with kids. Don't be blindsided by a detour-Go with it!
11. Sing. Make everything into a song. Life with kids is much better as a musical.
12. Lower your expectations. Not of your children but on situations. Face it- you'll be late sometimes. Your kids will be dirty. You will be tired...so will they. Setting too high a standard is a recipe for disaster. Life is what happens when we make plans.
13. Try, Try again. If your little one spits out the first olive he eats, try another one in a few months. Perhaps the first attempt at soccer is a disaster. Don't give up! Sometimes, we decide what they are good at or what they like/don't like before they do. Don't define them. Life is new as a child. Let them explore and try again.
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