Reality Check

I have been feeling a bit emotional lately. I've avoided blogging because I'm not sure I have many positive things to say. This morning, I was thinking maybe it would help process all these feelings. It truly pains me to even say what I think it is. I miss San Diego. I am trying to be honest with you, with myself. I miss my friends. I miss all the great places to eat. I miss the education opportunities for my children. I miss the weather. I miss the get-togethers. I miss the family that we barely saw anyway.  I missed the Christmas lights. I miss my best friend and her family to the point it brings tears to my eyes. I really want a slower life but living a slower life is taking some major getting used to. I'm kinda bored. That's it. That about sums it up perfectly. As much as I hate chaos, activity, and being overwhelmed. I'm a bit lost without it. Wanting to be a certain way and actually changing is almost painful. I have all the things I thought I wanted but I miss what I had. It's been quite the reality check. Don't get me wrong, I know this change will take time. I will adjust. It's just that currently its weighing heavily on me. My heart is pretty darn sad! This is not easy to admit but it's real.