Reality Check

I have been feeling a bit emotional lately. I've avoided blogging because I'm not sure I have many positive things to say. This morning, I was thinking maybe it would help process all these feelings. It truly pains me to even say what I think it is. I miss San Diego. I am trying to be honest with you, with myself. I miss my friends. I miss all the great places to eat. I miss the education opportunities for my children. I miss the weather. I miss the get-togethers. I miss the family that we barely saw anyway.  I missed the Christmas lights. I miss my best friend and her family to the point it brings tears to my eyes. I really want a slower life but living a slower life is taking some major getting used to. I'm kinda bored. That's it. That about sums it up perfectly. As much as I hate chaos, activity, and being overwhelmed. I'm a bit lost without it. Wanting to be a certain way and actually changing is almost painful. I have all the things I thought I wanted but I miss what I had. It's been quite the reality check. Don't get me wrong, I know this change will take time. I will adjust. It's just that currently its weighing heavily on me. My heart is pretty darn sad! This is not easy to admit but it's real.

Tis the season

We have found some holiday cheer and some stress to go with it. I think everything is just slower here, took longer to get here. Now, it feels as if the holiday has sprung upon me. All of a sudden I have a million things to do. Clean, wrap, pack, decorate, oh and of course bake. The house is feeling pretty festive. Our first Christmas here will include my parents, my sister, her partner, and my grandmother...plus the 7 of us makes for a full house. Tonight, we will venture to a holiday festival filled with lights and a village with Santa. We did go see the local Santa in town last weekend. Good God, was he bad. Jeans under his clothes and a horrible fake beard. It was quite the disappointment. Also, last weekend we had our potential new friends over for dinner. It went rather well. She shares some of my zombie apocalypse view points, which was fun to discuss. The children got along wonderfully. They even helped clean up when it was time to go which is a huge point maker in my eyes. I took #2 and #3 over to her house on Tuesday to make Christmas cookies. They live about 40 minutes away. In country space, I think that's pretty close. It was an interesting experience. I was a little nervous. When we arrived it took about 45 minutes for their dogs to stop barking incessantly at me. It was annoying but apparently they get very few visitors and the dogs weren't sure how to act. We made some cookies, chatted, and she showed me a lot of her homeschooling material. Her passion for homeschool is inspiring. They had a pair of pet rats which we held and played with. After I put one back in the cage, I leaned forward to make kissy noises at him, because I'm a genius. Who'd a thunk... that sucker bite me right in the nose. It took me awhile to get the bleeding to stop. I wanted to leave right away at that point but I stuck it out another 20minutes or so. I left her house rocking a red transformers Band-Aid across my nose. I looked like Rudolf. Tis the Season!!!

Cabin Fever!

I'm not exactly sure what is lingering in the house but everyone is grumpy. Could it be cabin fever? As a family we have had a lot to adjust to since we moved. Daddy is home almost all the time. He is hard on the kids way more than I am. It's probably good but it stresses them out. It stresses me out. When did I become such a softie? My oldest seems to be suffering from puberty. AGH! The weather is not nearly as bad as I expected, which is fantastic. However, it is pretty darn rainy in comparison to SD. That may be a factor in everybody's mood. Grey weather and grey moods. There is a lack of Christmas activity and spirit around here too. I have went over the top in decorating. The kids and I have made numerous holiday crafts. I think we are missing our family and friends. The holidays in SD, were usually stressful, faced paced, and over-filled. I wanted a slower pace.  At the same time, I miss all the activity. It goes to show....wanting to be a certain way and actually being it, are two very different things. It is just going to take time. I think this family needs to get outta the house together. It's time to find some holiday cheer. We did get invited to make Christmas cookies with the family we had pizza with last week. That and a visit to Santa is a good place to start.

The news!

It's been a full few days down here on the homestead. On Saturday morning, we went to a local livestock auction with the folks that sold us our guardian puppies.  It was quite the experience. We explored the animals and junk for sale ahead of time. I held my number in apprehension. I missed a few items we wanted, purely because it took me awhile to begin understanding the auctioneer. We did get a few goodies and 3 chickens.The people we went with are big horse people. They showed us a beautiful small filly that was set go up for auction. I could tell she was such a good girl. Her eyes spoke to me. Although we had no intention of going home with any animals...most definitely not a horse. We couldn't help ourselves. I started waving my number around when she came to the stage. It has been my daughters dream to have a horse since she was 4 years old. She paid $215 for her new horse, all with her own money. Already they are so beautiful together, I feel sure we made the right decision. The day took much longer than expected. It was chaos when we finally got home. We had to muster a place for our new horse, introduce our new chickens to the group, change the kids, scarf a sandwich, just to jump back in the car, and head to town. We had made plans to hang out with a family at the Christmas parade. I had met this mom and her two sons at the local library. It actually seemed like we could be friends. We ran late, so we missed the parade, by minutes, but still met for pizza. They are very young but sweet. I think we will hang out again in the future. Tomorrow, the plan is to throw together some sort of structure for Lily, our new horse. Its raining tonight...hopefully she isn't too cold. Just in case you were wondering...no, we know nothing about horses. Absolutely nothing...no time like the present to learn quickly.

Down on the farm

The puppies and goats have arrived. We finally finished the fence and structure on Saturday. The structure is completely built out of reclaimed wood. We rescued many usable pieces from our neighbors burn pile. The only thing we purchased was fencing wire and brackets. How is that for sustainable? On Sunday, we spent most of the day watching the kids, goats, and puppies interact. The goats(from San Diego) are more like pets. They were bottle fed, overly friendly, and sometimes pushy. The puppies are beyond adorable. We named them Kahlyssi and Aria after characters from Game of Thrones. Both strong Females. It is difficult to leave them outside. I want to cuddle them, however they need to bond with the goats, plus learn to protect them. My intention is to have them guard the whole property, including the children as needed. I am blown away by how smart they are. I am looking forward to training them. I have always been good with animals. My first baby was my dog named Thai. He was incredibly well behaved. When we lived at the beach he would walk without a leash and wait for me out in front of stores. I have his portrait tattooed on me. He was amazing. Another, sustainable thing we did was cut down our own Christmas tree. It was awesome. All the kids, the four dogs, hubby, and I went hiking behind our property. My hubby cut about 6ft off from the top of a Christmas type tree. It will grow back which just makes it all the better.  It is a bit Charlie Brown looking, but I love it. It makes me proud. Life is good, down here on the farm.