I recently read a blog about the top mistakes parents are making these days. I'd like to offer my take on the matter. I am by no means an expert in the subject, but I feel having 5 kids qualifies me as well versed.
#1- Parents should not spoil their children. Spoiled children are brats and nobody wants to be around them. So keep the over indulgence to a minimum. Unless you are at the store and you really need your kid to shut the hell up for a few minutes...then, get them a toy or a lollipop. That's a no-brainer. Actually, it also may be acceptable to buy them an item if it's "really freakin' cute" or if you just got paid.
#2- Quit codling your children. Please? My children have to grow up and share this planet with yours. Do we really want to raise a bunch of wimpy wimps? At my 4 year old son's basketball class, one mom was actually holding her son the entire time. He was clutching her neck like his life depended on it, crying continuously. She ran up and down the court with him. Desperately tried to get him to engage in ball handling skills by physically moving his arms for him. I may have even heard her beg him to try. I'm sorry...you wouldn't catch me doing that....um....no.. either get it together, do it, or we are leaving. Unless he was really sensitive. If he is really sensitive I may hold him... a little. I also feel it is inappropriate to beg or bribe our children. Unless of course we are desperate, embarrassed, overwhelmed or exhausted. Which is so rare....right?
#3- Be a parent-not a friend! Our children need discipline. They need us to lead by example. There will be times when they don't like us-ALOT! We will do what we have to, to keep them safe, to teach them, and to turn them into productive functioning adults. There is an exception to this rule; if you are feeling lonely or sick-be friends. Also, it maybe acceptable if you want to bond. Perhaps, go to a concert together. Just be sure to turn it into a life lesson. Drugs are bad, Don't Dress like a hooker, Don't take advantage of drunk girls, Don't be the drunk girl, etc...etc. Children need good parents not cool ones. All rules are null and void if you have a teenager. Be the cool one! Get them a tattoo or a piercing.Wait! What? Never!!! Unless....
#4- Don't compare yourself to other parents. Chances are you will feel inadequate. I do the best I can everyday. I have learned that everybody's best looks very different and varies from day to day. I have no reason to compare myself to Suzy Homemaker. Her fabulous Facebook posts. The accomplished pinterst crafts. Clean children in matching outfits. Give me a break. Most days I'm just proud we all survived. On the other hand, if you come across an obviously BAD parent, feel free to compare...we all need a little pick me up once in awhile.
#5-Your children are far from perfect. So many parents today think they have little angels. Parents are so quick to come to their children's defense and are completely unwilling to be objective. Hello....your kid can be quite an A-hole. We can't fix what we won't acknowledge. My oldest son is a total brat. Want to know why? His mother spoils and coddles him. Idiot! Doesn't she realize the monster she is creating? He is so sensitive, he's undoubtedly going to be all screwed up. It is important to identify and work on our children's faults. Although my children are pretty damn close to perfect.
The point of this blog is too encourage compassion among parents. It is so easy to sit from afar and judge others faults or even their accomplishments. Suzy Homemaker may appear to have it all together but behind closed doors a whole different truth may be unfolding. The mother bribing her daughter at the grocery store may be going through a divorce. The father trying to be a friend may have just lost his job or worse, found out he has cancer. There is no window to the pain people are in. Life is hard. There is no instruction manual when it comes to parenting. We all struggle. We all have wins and losses. Who am I to say what is right for another? My house is as glass as yours. All I know is that my children are my reason for breathing. I make every single decision based on their well being. Am I perfect? No! Are you? No! We are in this together. We are raising the future. Let's focus on the love we see between parents and their children. Lets lift each other up in our insecurity. Let's embrace the fact we have choices and support each other in them. I am doing the very best I can. I swear it!! I know you are too! Bless you mommy and daddy for trying so hard. It is enough.
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